The Waiting Room, III (draft)

DRAFT: The Waiting Room III

Performance Time & Location:

Lobby of the ART or similar before a performance.

MC:

MIC CHECK

MIC CHECK

THE OCCUPATION REQUESTS YOUR ATTENTION

THIS IS MY TICKET.

THIS IS YOURS.

Location: Hospital waiting room. Chairs. Card table with large pile of papers on it. Receptionist sits behind the table. Cardboard doors to wating room jingle with tamborine.

Characters:

Ezekiel Emanuel dressed as an Old Testament prophet (generic)

M. Bundle I: kinda like a baby.

Newt Gingrich, M. Bundle’s adopted father

M. Bundle II: an adult with asthma and diabetes

The Tribe: healthcare providers.

Firefighter with HIV.

Receptionist

Nationalized Health Insurance Scouts.

Act I

EE comes out into the Waiting Room with a reed basket. He hands M. Bundle to Newt Gingrich and introduces him to the Tribe which is the Bundle’s high touch health care team. He goes on to describe what the total cost of caring for Bundle’s asthma and diabetes will be when provided by the Tribe.

NG: Sounds like a death panel to me!

NG grabs the bundle, turns and leaves.

Act II

Fast forward 56/2011 years. M. Bundle is in the Waiting Room.  There he meets the Tribe, who he vaguely recognizes and the fire fighter with HIV.

Conversation I

In between complaining about their own ailments, members of the Tribe offer to treat M. Bundle, competing with each other for his business. The Tribe have all sorts of ailments (head aches, blurry vision, carpal tunnel, stiff neck) from health insurance industry paperwork.  M. Bundle ends the conversation by asking them if it wouldn’t be a better idea if they all worked together. The Tribe huddles.

Conversation II

M. Bundle starts talking to the Firefighter about his HIV.

Newt returns and starts arguing with them.

The Nationalized Health Insurance Scouts sureptiously ignite the pile of paperwork on the card table. The Receptionist scurries away.

Putting out the fire exhausts the firefight. M. Bundle, wheezing, asks the Tribe to work together to save the fire fighter. They start brainstorming on how they could contain the HIV epidemic if they all worked together. Newt objects. The Nationalized Health Insurance Scouts surround him chanting something like:

Newt the Grinch is so cosy, cosy

Pocket full of cronies, cronies,

Profits! Profits!

All fall down

Everyone except M. Bundle falls down

M. Bundle monologue. As it ends, OB and more NHIS burst through the waiting room doors chanting the NHIS oath, everyone except Newt joins in and exits off stage.

Newt:

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/11/17/370640/newt-gingrich-influence-peddle/

To help clear the record, ThinkProgress has compiled a short history of Gingrich’s influence peddling:

– Helping To Secure Health IT Earmarks For GE, Microsoft, IBM: Gingrich headed a for-profit health care consulting firm that engages in activities identical in nature to lobbying. As Business Week reported, firms like GE have hired Gingrich to figure out “on how to grab some of the $19.6 billion in federal stimulus money” on healthcare IT grants. A follow-up ThinkProgressinvestigation found that Gingrich had been paid to bring health IT lobbyists together with lawmakers like Rep. Jim Cooper (D-TN) and Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN).

– Gingrich Lobbied To Deregulate Insurers, While Accepting Hundreds Of Thousands From Health Insurance Corporations: Through his for-profit healthcare consulting firm, Gingrich accepted up to $200,000 in annual fees from insurers like WellPoint and UnitedHealth. As ThinkProgress reported, Gingrich not only pushed anti-health reform conspiracies like the infamous “death panel” smear, but he also crafted model legislation that formed the basis of GOP deregulatory proposals for health insurers. In March 2009, Gingrich met with Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA) and other members of the GOP Doctors Caucus to help write conservative health reform alternative legislation. “Gingrich provided us with great insight as we work to craft health care solutions for the 21st Century,” proclaimed Gingrey after the meeting. Gingrich also wrote healthcare legislation introduced by Rep. Nathan Deal (R-GA), and “consulted” with Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) on health reform legislation that would deregulate the insurance industry. During this blitz of what many would consider lobbying-like activity, the BlueCross & BlueShield Association and AHIP, the umbrella lobbying group for the health insurance industry, paid Gingrich fees as well.

Gingrich may defend his unregistered lobbying by claiming that he does not meet the legalthreshold in terms of legislator contact. However, news reports have painted a picture of Gingrich as constantly in communication with lawmakers and other public officials. According to the New York Times, Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) has been known to discuss strategy on a “regular basis” with Gingrich. The Hill reported that Gingrich attended whip meetings with the GOP caucus to “educate” rank and file Republican lawmakers on the health reform debate. And as a separate piece from the Times noted, Gingrich fires off what have become known as “Newtgrams” — personal e-mails and messages with tactical advice — frequently to Republican legislators in both the House and Senate.

ThinkProgress once asked Gingrich why he never registered as a lobbyist, despite his clear history of pressing Congress on behalf of his clients. Gingrich defended his actions by stating that his lobbying is not technically lobbying because it “benefits the country at large.”